The love of your life has just walked out on you but your heart is not ready to let go. Why? Because the good in that relationship far out weighed the bad and now you feel the need to let them know that…
…and you’d want to let them know that you still love them…
Lionel Richie’s is the singer and song writer of “Still”, a moving and delicate ballad that tugs at my heart strings. It’s melody and tone are calm and soothing which is ironic expression of a heart broken man. A man that feels like each morning is just a reminder of losing his woman in a painful break up. I imagine there was a lot of name calling and screaming. Both parties defiantly spoke out of anger and said things they’d regret later. I don’t recall having this kind of break up (I pride myself on remaining calm to avoid those kind of fights) but I can relate to longing of an lover.
That lover was my husband. One day after much distress I took some clothes and left. We’d been having troubles and I found myself afraid to eat and unable to sleep. I left him for a couple of days to help out my mother. Those two days turned into three years. I stayed away because of the many mistakes we both made that were not yet resolved. But I still loved him, still!
He felt abandoned… abandoned by me. It was hurtful that I left the way I did and the timing sucked. He needed me but I couldn’t come back without knowing that we would work through our issues. I wouldn’t come back until he agreed to marriage counseling. He felt like I owed it to him (leaving the way I did) to come back without conditions. And the resentment in him began to grow; the resentment for making a vow to him and breaking it without a full explanation. He began to shut me out and ration out our communication. Even though I was the one to leave physically I felt my heart being torn to pieces as he displayed a cold distance.
But I dreamed… I dreamed of us working on our issues and reuniting. Our relationship would be better than it had ever been before. After all he was my best friend. He had played a integral part in my life for 20 something years. I didn’t know what I’d do without him so I had hope.
But hope became bleak as days turned into weeks turned into months turned into years. We were eventually able to talk and become friends again, then lovers again, but when it came to getting back together officially we were at a standstill. We get so far but then have to start from scratch as neither of us were willing to let go of our demands.
That was until I filed for divorce and things become crystal clear for the both of us. We loved each other and were willing to give all that we could to make changes that would work for us both. I now saw a man that was willing and able to put my fears to rest and be forthcoming and consistent. I became a woman who would let down her emotional wall and trust him enough to be open and vulnerable.
So today my story has a happy ending and it colors the way I understand Lionel Richie’s “Still”. I hear a love story that is at the climax of the plot with plenty of time and ways to end. I hear the hope that I once had and I hear the love that is still there.
If you lost someone that is near and dear to your heart, someone that you know is well suited for, get up the nerve to let them know that you love them. Admit to them where you went wrong, own it, and change it. Be patient with them if they are willing to admit, own, and change their past mistakes… And hold on to hope! Hope is a powerful force. Use it wisely… but use it!
I want to create a playlist and would love your help. If you think of a song that reminds you of “Still” or that goes with theme of pining over a lost lover let me know in a comment below. Thank you so much for reading and I hope to see you soon:-)